my voice is girly when I talk to strangers
but when I’m with friends I turn into morgan freeman
If there were one thing to cause me to go on a homicidal baby-eating rampage, it’s this. Or Kidz Bop.
On Deciding Which to Watch
Me: Well which one do you want to watch?
Andy: ... why don't you tell me which one you want, and I'll tell you if that's the one I picked.
Me: Hm... Mad Monkey Kung Fu sounds interesting... but Five Shaolin Masters has FIVE shaolin masters. Executioners has executioners in the title... and that last one has Jet Li in the title.
Andy: You want to know what's funny?
Me: What?
Andy: those were my thoughts exactly.
This Happened Last Night
White News Lady: Reports surfacing that Trayvon Martin had marijuana in his system on the night he was slain--
My Mama: AND!!?? AND!!?? What the hell that got to do with anything!?
*And the media, once again, talks of things they don't know or understand. They talk circles of bullshit to cover up the bullshit. I definitely remember them saying how he was in possession of it but that no traces were found in his system. And while we're on it, WHERE IS THE AUTOPSY?! I have YET to hear about Martin's injuries..I'm just saying...Anyway, this is why my grandma used to tape the news. We would literally play back something and find all the loopholes and bullshit. My grandma would look at me and say "Damnit Alyise! You're not suppose to be intelligent enough to pick up on this! They were counting on that!" and then we'd laugh. Good times.*
